Why am i me

Why am i different to you? Why do i act so strange? Is it because im not what you want me to be? Is it because im different to what society want me to be? Is it because i suffer from aspergers? Or Anxiety? Or Depression? Is it because society doesnt know how to cope with people 'like me'? Is it because your scared of how i will react? Is it because you dont understand how i feel? Or how i do things differently from another person? Is it because i present a vast display of individualism? Is it because i talk differently? Is it because Im not accepted by others? Why do people act so cold to me? Why am i still single? Is it because i dont know girls? Or is it that girls dont know me? Why am i shy?

I ask myself these questions everyday, plus more. And ill give the answers shortly. But man, society is fucked. If people have had gone through what i had, they would have probably thrown their lives away. And thats the problem society is. They want everyone to be a bland majority of which people have to follow or their discarded. People 'like me' often become fairly angry, anxious and depressed because they feel that society makes them try to fit into their 'bland society' rather then embracing the people that we are. Whats even worse, when we decide to tell people we are this way, it truns them off further. Girls are often 'too good' for us, because hey, who wants a person with problems to deal with. I once had a girl, and she knows who she is, didnt want to date me because she didnt have the time to deal with problems that i may have. Thats honestly pathetic, and to be honest, i wish real bad fucking luck on you. I recently went out with a girl, that nervous, had a good time, did a couple of things due to nerves (e.g dropped coke blah blah blah) and she said she had a good time, but she never messaged me back and still hasnt more then a month on...and you wonder why i dont want to go on dates. I often get ridiculed in sports teams and classes because of my style of communication is poor, yet again of which ill blame on society. People with anxiety/autism usually have a low self esteem which often gets battered at a young age which then develops into poor habits such as mumbling, or trying to hard to say something. I have alot of entunsiasm for sport, but in the 'real word' unless your 'cool' you get torched on everything you say. Maybe sport isnt my thing. But of all the sports ive played, ive been good at, unfotunatly though, they all are team sports. Trying hard is never enough anymore. Life stinks, but hey, im a fighter, i roll with the punches, and as i said, if most people would have gone what ive been through they would have given up by now, i bet. What im writing this blog for is just for me to express myself, not for attention. Yes, i hate my life.. But no, im not an attention seeking whore, im an enthusiest. All i ask for is for society to FUCKING USE THEIR BRAINS BEFORE BEING A SHITHEAD TO SOMEONE. I know this bloke at tafe. He wonders around, enthusiastic, with autism of course. But he is passionate about helping people,. But when he turns his back, people stab him in the back. HE hasnt done anything wrong, he is just trying to be cheerful!. In fact the people you should be an ass to is the people who are an inconsiderate asshole to others. As i said, use your head, they may have a problems. They may be abused at home, they may have learning difficulties, who knows? Just be smart and show some sympathy. Hell, flame this post as much as you want, ill take it, been taking shit my whole life, but dont go being a homewrecker for others.