Monday, December 21, 2009

20 Things i have learnt from watching The Karate Kid.

I was bored today so i decided to watch the first Karate Kid. Karate kid is one of my all time favourite movies and while watching it i found 25 things that i previously didn't know or that seem to be translatable to common day life itself.

#20. It's Mi-yar-gi, not Mi-ar-gee
#19 - Never say you have had a bike accident cause when it does happen, it makes it hard to believe. Daniel son is bullied by boys and on the first occasion he gets hit he says he had a bike accident, but when it does happen his mother doesn't believe him, a twist on 'The boy who cried Wolf' story.
#18 - If I'm correct the move to New Jersey to California would be enjoyable, but the Karate kid has informed me that its possibly the worst thing possible. Look at all the turmoil and hard work Daniel Son had to go through to get some respect over on the West Coast. Either that, or the West really don't like the East.
#17. If there is no choice in the matter of moving, befriend and old Japanese man who lives in a basement. This move proved the best move for Daniel and it payed dividends.
#16. Remember that all methods of recovery that if the antidote smells or tastes bad, it heals good.
#15. Japanese men are born ready for Karate
#14. People from the Miyagi family know two things - fishing and karate.
#13. There is no such thing as a bad student, rather a bad teacher.
#12.When waxing cars, always wax with your right hand, and wax off with your left hand, in circles.
#11. The best way to alleviate any problems is to enter yourself in a karate tournament....or face up to the problem
#10. No matter the day and age, Mums and Dad's were embarrassing
#9. When playing gold it was the Females job to play from 'behind' the male.
#8. You will never be a true Karate master without the headband.
#7. The best way to challenge yourself is too catch fly's with chopsticks
#6. Beginners luck also applies to catching fly's with chopsticks.
#5. Not all old men that give you gift after gift are pedophiles.
#4. Even if your not a jerk, admitting so gets you back in with the ladies.
#3. If you don't have a belt, just give yourself the highest belt possible.
#2. If someone cheap shots you, they may be doing it out of their own fear.
#1. Waxing Sanding and painting is the best way to be a karate Prodigy

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Top 5 scandalous high profile sporting stars of the modern era as voted as by, well, me

For many, a drug addiction, cheating on your wife or a misdemeanor usually is known to very few people and not such a hard thing to cope with. But when you get high payed sports stars replication this behaviour, it usually ends in turmoil. The Morrison effect counts down it's top 10 scandalous high profile figures of the modern era.

Jumping in at # 5 is John 'Wild Thing' Daly. John is known for his long drives, poor health and somewhat aggressive behavior at times. John Daly's alcoholic problems are such to an extent of which an alcoholic drink consisting of Sweett tea-flavored vodka and lemonade is often referred to as a John Daly. He claims to have lost between US$50 and $60 million over the past 15 years. This includes losing $1.5 million in October 2005, after winning half that amount at the WGC-American Express tournament, most of it lost on $5,000 Los Vegas slot machines. He has made most of this money back through endorsements and public appearances, notably with poker machine company aristocrat. He has also been known to smoke a pack of cigarettes and 1.25L of diet coke everyday, including those of which he is on a golf course.

Putting his boot into #4 is Wayne Carey. Wayne was a champion on the Field and was a huge role model for most coming up through grassroots AFL during his time. A strong marker of the footy and a natural instinct to find the middle of the goals, he was a phenom. In March 2002 however, Carey was caught up in a Extra martial affair with the clubs Vice Captain (Anthony Stevens) wife. At that point Carey had lost faith from the nation, and the football club of which he became a legend at. He stood down and
headed to the US to avoid media scrutiny. Carey had a huge history of getting in trouble with the law and still does at times.


Hitting in at #3 is A-Rod. A-Rod as he is known for short is a champion Baseball players who plays for the New York Yankee's. In 2003 he failed a steroid test and information was linked to the public (with 103 other names). In an interview he admitted using drugs only during the 2001 to 2003, none of which were with the Yankee's, but with the Rangers.

Swinging in at #2 is none other than Tiger Woods. What a month this guy has had. He gets 3.3m for winning the Australian Masters, and gets involved into a mystery car rash outside of his Florida mansion. What i find funny about this whole thing is not only the fact that about 10 people have come out and claimed that they have had an affair with the worlds greatest golfers, that the wife chased him down the street with a golf club. Sure, he probably has an abundance of clubs, but surely there would be something better to chase him with. Maybe the wife was looking for sponsorship off Nike or some other kind of club manufacturer. In all honesty i feel sorry for him. Sure cheating against a women is against everything i worship, but i think he is unfairly being targeted because of his wealth. Not only will large sums come from his bank account which would be somewhere in the proximity of $US780, he could lose sponsorship of up too $US130 per year. What hasn't made the situation any better is the capitulation of his mothers health. Obviously this is one thing that has totally captivated the world just simply because of how great his swing is on the golf course. Perhaps swinging off the golf course is one thing he should look to avoid.



Okay here is #1, the one you have been waiting for. #1 belongs to the one and only OJ Simpson. The O. J. Simpson murder case has been described as the most publicized criminal trial in American history, in which O. J. Simpson, a former American football star and actor, was brought to trial for the 1994 murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was acquitted in 1995after a lengthy trial—the longest jury trial in California history. At 10 a.m. on October 3, 1995, after only four hours of deliberation the previous day, the jury returnedd a verdict of not guilty. DNA showed that blood found at the scene of Brown's murder was O.J. Simpson's. The odds it could have come from anyone but Simpson were reported, incorrectly, to be about one in 170 million. Although these odds weren't terribly good for OJ, but the doubt was put in as it could have been OJ's son, Jason who in fact committed the crime. OJ since then was involved in a Los Vegas Robbery where he took sports memorabilia. He was jailed 2 days later at a set price of $125,000. Simpson had three other run-ins with the law: a dispute over back taxes, a December 2000 road rage incident, and a satellite television piracy case.The State of California claims Simpson owes $1.44 million in past due taxes. A tax lien was filed in his case on September 1, 1999. In 2000, Simpson was charged with battery and auto burglary after it was alleged that he pulled the glasses off another motorist during a traffic dispute. He was put on trial
and acquitted on both charges in 2001. In March 2004, satellite television network DirecTV, Inc. accused Simpson in a Miami federal court of using illegal electronic devices to pirate its broadcast signals. The company later won a US$25,000 judgement, and Simpson was ordered to pay US$33,678 in attorney's fees and costs.



Thanks for reading, cant wait for your comments, emails and such and i hope you keep reading. My contact details are in the sidebar, until next time though, I'm out.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The 2am Club Lockout. and how ineffective it is.

Over recent years the NSW government and i think now the QLD government has introduced new laws for which pubs and clubs statewide have to abide by a curfew time for which people can enter clubs and what time most clubs decide to close up. Personally, i think this is the stupidest idea in curbing violence.

I will introduce Exhibit A. Transport from the city back to where you need to be.
This to me is something I'm fairly passionate about because in most clubs, they will kick you out about 2AM and generally this causes issues. Now if I'm not correct, wouldn't just kicking everyone onto the street with nowhere to go be more of an issue that allowing people into a premises with security? It's not like the bouncer cant turn down people at the door. The only transport available at this point is Taxi's and Night ride buses. Night ride buses to where i have to go (Sutherland - which means i have to walk an extra 10km's to get home) are alright, but they are always packed and the gap between each new one is way too long. (your looking at 45mins wait + 45mins bus ride). The second form of transport available is Taxi's. There are plenty out there, just none want to pick you up, so unless your with a really attractive lady dressed in next to nothing, your not gonna get one no matter how you try, specially if your 6 foot 5 in and weight 85kgs. When you eventually get one, it costs about $100 for every 40-50km you ride. With this is mind, you have a recipe for disaster where you have a few drunken people who are fairly cashed strapped as it is, and you put them in a highly volatile position where they may be dropped off far from where they need to be.

I recently caught a taxi with my cousin from the city to his place at Alexandria. It was only about 5km and didn't cost much at all. But what frustrated me is that the taxi driver knows he is going into a situation where he is surrounded by drunken people, yet when we were taking a bit of time to get the money out (which while drunk isn't easy), he decided to have a snap at us. Had me and my cousins been a bit more s***faced, i reckon something would have happened, but common sense prevailed, we hopped out and called him an asshole (which he was).

Exhibit B. Kicking people out in the street at 2am to stop excessive drinking.
The government is a genius. You see, i thinks by closing places up at 2am will stop the excessive consumption of alcohol, which in turn will help with alcohol related conflicts. This is the part i don't get. I go into the city at about 9pm usually. Same place, basically every time, right on 9pm. Now if i decided to leave at 1am, it causes the same issue because when you think about it, i drink the same amount, maybe more between these times than between 10pm and 2am, so that releases me at 1am and the same behaviours result.

If the government wants to be smart about this, how about target behaviours rather than times because as i just said, i could drink more in the same time period, get more inebriated but because i can get straight into another club for another hour yet, it totally nullifies the objective the 2am lockout serves.

Only recently the government, more noticeably Sydney, have put more police officers in the city to make sure there isn't this type of behaviour in the city. My question is to the government, Why do you need this 'plan' if your 2AM lockout is the so called 'perfect' resolution to bad behaviour. Why isn't there alternate transport. Why do people have to wait on the train station from 12:30am for a 5am train? I bet the government could save a whole heaps more in law enforcement and other methods if they just invested in the right methods. I don't like to fight, lets make that clear. But i can tell you, waiting for a night rider around other drunken idiots just gets plain frustrating. Most people if they were on their way home, I'm sure would just sit down, have a rest, get off the train and just go straight home.

Anyway that's enough of my venting for now. I'll post something new in the next couple of weeks. My Email is Reachable Here, alternatively you can reach me on facebook if you have any suggestions, fan mail, anything i may of missed out or just misc. mail.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Shaquille O'Neal's Top 10

Im going to continue on this theme of putting video's in my blog because it seems like and alright way to burn up a stack of time. The blog is dedicated to possibly the funniest, most 'out there' guy in the NBA. None other than Shaq himself.

10. I start the countdown with a personal favourite of mine. Shaq enterd the NBA with dimension's that even by todays standards are massive. So what happens when you dont have backboards ready for his power? This is what happens!



9. Was the first instance not enough warning for the NBA? I hope this worked cause i wouldn't have much hope if it wasn't!




8. Shaq being a typical big guy doesnt like getting dunked on or getting shoved around. So when young Andrew Bynum wants to get in a push and shove with Diesel, does he not expect to be shoved back? Bad Call!!




So this is what happens when Shaq dunks on someone. I will admit, no ejection was needed, not even a tech foul.



7. I know David Robinson was a future Hall of Famer for the NBA (was inducted this year), but we all know how Shaq loves to steal the limelight. Here is a young Shaq with an 'In-Your-Face' dunk on David Robinson (#50). Im sure 'The Admiral' sees this as one of his darkest moments. Will shaq bring this out when he is inducted?



6. A possible Tavelling Violation, none the less, a brilliant move by the big man. The commentator says if shaq shoots from the posistion he started, he would be leaving, shaq obviously didnt want him to leave, but im sure his opposing center did after this one





5. Imagine this...Shaq hits a 3 pointer! Cant believe it? neither could I, but camera's dont lie




4. This one comes in the 2007 All star game. East are getting smashed so Shaq decides to bring his Point Guard game to the table. I really hope he runs the point sometime while at Cleveland! Watch in the background for Carmello Anthony falling off his seat in laughter,





3. I got a few for number 3 as they are all related and i cant cut shaq's list to 10. He is well known for his humour pre game, so i thought #3 could be dedicated to this. First one involves shaq at the All Star game 2009 in pheonix. This is no joke. I reckon he may of practiced for weeks for this. Look at the big fella go!



Dancing at the Eastern All Stars open practice with Lebron and Dwight







And Finally, a Pre Game Introduction by the Shaqsta...Bowling style


2. Number 2 looks at some of shaq's on court antics. Like #3, i have a few video's classed in this.

The first video looks at an incident that clearly could have been avoided by shaq, but true to his nature, he makes it happen. This is in stark contrast to J-Rich's incident. Boy i feel sorry for the lady who gets absoloutly pummled by the big fella!



Did someone say "getting pummled'?




1. Okay, i have saved the best till last here. Shaq undoubtably is the most dominate man on the basketball court for the last 17yrs. I think its safe to assume he has the mouth and witt to match his skills on the basketball court. ESPN's SportCenter has helped me out here by compliling probably his best 10 ever quotes. I dont personally think they are in my best order but oh well!




Wednesday, October 7, 2009

My top 10 video's involving sports

I'm an avid sports watcher, watching sports from athletics right down to yachting. Thanks to Youtube, i have collected a bunch of video's and in no particular order have posted them here

10. Derrick Rose "" The Rookie Of The Year" Bulls Mix
There was no one in his class in terms of rookie's during the 2008-09 NBA season, but there was one supporter passionate enough to make a video to try and firther influences judges decions.


9. 2003 Nike Advertisment including some old stars of the game. Great ad and some great flows.



8. In 2000 Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson teamed up together in this nike ad. Consequently, VC got traded to the Nets that summer and they teamed up for a few years at the Nets. Both have moved on since. I would also hate to be the owner of the basketball court!





7. Sure there isn't much that is funny about getting Ko'd, but it sure adds to the entertainment vaule of Rugby League. Its the Broncos (in yellow) and the New Zealand Warriors (in White).


6.Nothing better than seeing the pro's do tricks., but when a kid does it on the streets of Sydney? MY GOD!!!!


P.S. Sorry about the guy at the end haha.



5. I love soccer. I love it more when world class players make me feel better about myself. Enjoy :)


4. Did someone say making you feel good about yourself?





3. Maybe this goalkeeper should stop celebrating until the coast is clear!








2. Lebron has been a sensation since he joined the league. Here is his top 100 dunks up until the 2008-2009 season







1. Before Lebron, Kobe, T-Mac this is what people came to see. Possibly one of the greatest dunkers of all time. Watch for the number one dunk on here! Was lucky enough to see this at the stadium. It was something special to watch it when it happened.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

My dog is truely an Idiot.

The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel - one of the more popular dogs these days, its known for being intelligent. But it just so happens, my dog, of the same breed, it a total moronic idiot. Sure, Cav King Charles' have on of the nicest temperaments on the market in terms of dog. Dogs of these types are known for needed constant attention, but this dog just goes to extreme levels to get it, whether it be good or bad attention.
Let me explain a type of situation my dog will get himself into. Last spring we had some real beautiful days. But there was one day in particular that stood out. The sun was shining, wasn't too hot, wasn't cold either. there was a nice breeze out, fly less, but there were bees. Now normally bees wouldn't be a problem, but because my dog is how he is, decided to try to eat it but snatching at it mid flight. Bingo! He got it. We took him to the vet and thanks to his idiocy he cost us $150 and he had to stay the night as well. While I'm on that note. Why would he eat things that are buzzing around? His more common target is flies and i bet last spring wont be the last time he decides to chomp into a bee.

We all know of a dogs sharp sense of smell and a dogs poor sense of sight. It seems that my dog is playing games, or he is a total idiot because its the opposite for this dog. On several occasions, OK a few million where i have dropped my food on the floor and I'm the one pointing out to the dog where the mess is even if he is standing right in front of it. I find this a waste of his nose and if he isn't going to use it to full effect, he may as well give it to me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Teacher pulls perfect suplex: Keeps job

Teacher pulls perfect suplex: Keeps job

At Hurstville, in trying to restrain a child, a teacher performed a suplex manoeuvre, but remarkably kept his job. The problem arose when the student apparently played the clarinet, much to Dews' dismay. The teacher claims that although a suplex is not a proper restraining technique, if performed correctly, it is deemed acceptable. The 'Morrison Effect' News rang the 'NSW Board of Studies' rang to verify this, but did not claim that this was the rule in place, however if proven that it was a perfect suplex, the teacher at fault, Joe Dews, will get a pay rise of 300% and a free latex uniform. We called Craig Smith and he issued a statement back saying; “Although this kind of method is unacceptable, we found that he did the suplex perfectly, making him clear of any wrong doing. The student admitted he never should have got in that situation and happily admits it was the perfect suplex, making it fine for it to be done to him” .

We seeked comment from the student, also known as “Fantastic Spastic” by his peers, but word was he was too embarrassed to show his face. The Teacher Joe Dews had this to say in his latest press conference:”I’m so glad that the suplex came off cause I would have been in a bit of strife, but who cares about that because it did. Id like to thank the student who picked on me which made me try the suplex, my sub-ordinates for allowing me to pull and awesome move off like that. I'm still going to be committed to working as a teacher, even with the ever mounting number of request to be managed by someone, and the millions of people who want to be suplexed by me

I don’t know where this puts the future in schooling restraints. Will more try to challenge the legendary Dews or will they be too scared to pull it off?? A sign now remains in his classroom saying “No fear exists in this Dojo”, but I’m not sure the student feel that way anymore.